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Barriers to Forgiveness



Barriers to Forgiveness

Many of us are too proud to forgive, believing we will be portrayed
as weak and without backbone. Nothing is further from the
truth. It takes great strength and character to forgive [8].
The revered Catholic Saint, Francis of de Sales, was known to
have stated: “Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle
as real strength.” [9].
Some believe that only when their offender is “sorry” or repentant
can forgiveness be possible. Not so. The sooner we forgive,
the sooner we will experience peace.
All too often, we wish our offenders to “suffer” and we may
act out in a “passive aggressive” mode in order to “punish” them
further.
Our resentment and hardened hearts are only hurting ourselves.
Our anger, derived from a lack of forgiveness, is the driving
force behind the intent to hurt others (Fig. 3.2).
Finally, many delude themselves into thinking there will be a
“perfect time” to forgive. There is simply no time like the present
to free ourselves of hurt. The more we delay, the more we will
suffer.


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